There’s almost nothing more exciting than receiving mail; no, not the e variety…real mail, from-the-post-man sort of mail. I was so excited when I discovered that it was from my friends in Iowa! (Thanks!!!).
One of the packages contained a booklet called Living from the Heart by Kristi Casteel of Caleb Ministries. The booklet contained a series of articles but I started with the first. As I read it, this quote practically jumped out at me:
If you’ll listen carefully to your life, you may begin to see how the unique arrows you’ve known and the particular convictions you’ve embraced have been shaped by it as a result. The arrows also taint and partially direct even our spiritual life.
This is a quote she took from Brent Curtis.
When I read that, I just thought, wow. It’s strange how our experiences as children affect almost every sphere of our lives. Take me for instance, I have a wonderful father. But he was not the type that was comfortable with his feelings (I know my friends will have a hard time believing this, but he’s come a looong way!). He was more of the Do-it-cos-I-said type. Because of that, even though he changed along the way, I became very allergic to the autocratic male. Once I sniff that out in a man, I run a hundred yards away! It even spilled unto my relationship with God.
I once heard a story about this young man; that morning before he left the house, he got down on his knees and prayed’
“Dear Lord, please lead me today.”
As he stepped out his door, he had only walked a little distance when he stumbled. He stopped with a scowl on his face and stared up
“Lord I said lead, not push!”
When we heard this, everyone laughed. But I didn’t. I could identify with what the young man was going through. I hate being pushed…in fact, I buck when I am being controlled. When the Spirit leads, I’m all cool. When he begins to push, that’s where we have problems.
It’s amazing really, that article made me stop and examine my life closely and I could see areas where I missed out on what God had in store for me simply because I was reacting to childhood incidences and not acting on the relationship I had with him.