Good Girls Finish Last???

By Shakera Reid

So, what happens when you reach that point in your life when you’re seriously looking for Mr. Right, ready to settle down and have roots? You know that God is working it out, and all you have to do is sit back and wait. Well, I think I’m at that point. I do know that God will work it out, but this is just an outlet to help me deal with my impatience. I kinda feel like Bridget Jones, (minus the dumb blonde stereotype), and I guess this is my version of her diary. I guess similarities include a nice face, nothing fancy, standing to lose a few pounds, great personality, and obviously something good that most guys don’t know what they’re missing. This is my take on me.

I woke up one morning and apparently men had this idea that I was some unattainable being who needed a man to help me to get to know my true self. Growing up, I never considered myself to be someone who men would want to flock to. I was good “friend” material. Of course, the better part of my life was spent with someone that I wasn’t meant to be with. Maybe I was so in to him that I just never noticed. What a pity! My group of friends always prided ourselves on being “different” from most girls. High moral standards, religious, intelligent, ambitious, and not to mention, good looking. I go out, or go to work, and these traits seem to be confirmed by the men I encounter. Unfortunately, the men that I encounter are not relationship material. I am tired of hearing how disappointed they are that a woman like me is “going to waste” because people can’t believe that I don’t have a man. Well, if I’m so great, where is my Mr. Right? Where is my Prince Charming?

How many people know what it feels like to be alone during the holidays? I love Christmas -even the commercial aspect of it. I love gazing at the lights, going to church on Christmas morning, opening and giving gifts, going to family gatherings, and doing all the activities that make Christmas what it is. What could be better? I think that I would love to share it with someone special. Let’s not even get started on the New Year.

When you have so much to offer, but you haven’t been given the opportunity to do it, it feels a bit overwhelming. I love myself too much to settle for an unworthy person, but at times I do feel the loneliness creeping on me. I pray about it constantly and it keeps me from slipping up. That being said, what is the moral of the story? This one has a strange twist. What could be worse than being alone at the holidays? Believe it or not, there is something worse. Being with someone you love and still feeling like you’re alone. Been there, done that and I’m not going back.

Lesson Learned: Good girls may finish last, but we will eventually finish best. We just need to be patient and wait on the Lord. In the meanwhile, stick with friends that uplift you, enjoy your singleness. Travel, try new things, and keep yourself occupied. It may not seem that cut and dry, but it is often the times when we are not looking that love finds us first.

All rights reserved
Shakera Reid was born in Kingston, Jamaica and raised in Miramar, Florida. Her passion in life is counseling and educating youth. Hobbies include traveling, writing and watching movies. Her hope is to encourage others through her writing and to help them in their Christian walk.


Thank you for your comments. I now blog from Sharon’s Reservoir. I’d love a visit from you, just click here. Thanks!


13 thoughts on “Good Girls Finish Last???

  1. I’ve felt the same way for YEARS!!!!

    Mainly because I noticed men for some reason constantly chosing single moms over women with no children. I’m still in my 20s and can’t understand why would men CONSTANTLY chose women who had children out of wedlock over women who have morals!!!

    And I’m not knocking single moms. But I have a problem when I feel like society treats me like a leper when all I want is to wait until marriage to have kids!!!

    I do feel women who smoke, drink, and have casual sex are actually in more committed relationships than me and my moral friends.

    I do try to remind myself that good things come to those who wait…but sometimes I worry that that may be a myth 😦

  2. I’m glad that I am not the only person that feels this way about the impatience of finding Mr Right. I posted a similiar article asking this question.

  3. Im so glad I stumbled upon this. Im a 21 year old single virgin *cringe* I’ve often thought about losing my virginity because everyone I know (who isn’t a virgin) is in a long-term relationship and they’re happy and in love :-(. Thank you so much, I’ll share this with my church friends who share my morals. Thanx. XX

    1. Hi Neo, I understand completely…I was a 27 year old virgin (I know)… Please don’t lose it just because others are doing it ok? It would surprise you to know how many others are NOT doing it.

      Thanks for visiting my blog…I now blog at http://www, and I would love to see you there too.


  4. This is a very interesting article. I can understand where you are coming from but i know what it’s like to meet mr. right because i’ve met someone like him before, however, it didn’t work out but at least I know what it’s like to be happy in a relationship.
    Also, I just want to say morals isn’t everything that has to do with finding mr. right. There has to be chemistry and compatibility between the two of you so it can work out. There are 40 year olds who are the nicest people on earth, that could pass for saints, and yet they’re still single.
    And i’d also like to say, to the person who is speaking about single moms when you aren’t even one, who are you to say that single moms don’t have morals just as any other single woman? I am 23, on my way to becoming a single mom in 3 months, I am a Registered Nurse, and a devout catholic attending Church every Sunday, so who is to say that I am not a person without morals? I am educated and caring for people is my job. Single moms go through a lot, they are single moms because they have moral standards too and don’t choose abortion as a way out. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, and that’s why i’m in the situation i am in now. But I don’t regret any of it. So if you see a single mom being chased by a decent guy, you should be happy for her and not bitter, and see the ‘special’ part about her that makes men choose her over yourself!

    1. Thanks for this comment LILQ. There is so much that goes into being happy in a relationship…women who have had years of experience as sex workers go on to live happily in meaningful relationships. So morals (or lack of them) are not a predictor of who will be happy and who will not be.

      However, when all is said and done, I have noticed that those who engage in pre-marital sex sometimes have trust issues later on. But even that, is not argument enough for abstinence. I strongly believe that if you go on to have sex with everyone who seem like Mr. Right, (and he is not), you will end up having several partners in one lifetime and that is not good for a woman’s self esteem.

      Being a single mom is a great thing. And you are so right, if a man is chasing a single mom because she is a wonderful woman and he wants a meaningful relationship with her…I will be the first person shouting myself hoarse, cheering her on. The problem though, is that a lot of men have this distasteful notion that a single mom will find it easier to ‘put out’. Now that drives me crazy. I am a mom; I have the support of my partner and I still find it absolutely exhausting being a mom. How a single mom manages is beyond me. I sincerely hope you have a strong support system. It is not something I would recommend to anyone – not because of morals in this case, but because it is a lot of work.

      Thank you for visiting my site. I pray you get a decent man and that things work out for you. You do not need a man to be a fantastic mom, but they kinda help (for moving the heavy stuff and such).

  5. So I am guessing you wrote this article prior to meeting your husband/partner? Well that’s great news then, because that means you’ve found Mr. right afterall 🙂 I totally know what you mean about having so many sexual partners. It’s not good for women in terms of emotional stability and physically since many diseases can be spread that way. I didn’t have multiple sexual partners either, and it is my luck that i got pregnant at such an inconvenient time lol. I do have a partner sort of, but we’re not married (who knows who I will end up marrying) but we’re working through things and he is currently involved and is looking forward to having the baby now.
    I’m glad to know that things worked out for you, it gives hope to a lot of women! Thanks again for the article.

    1. Oh girl, it was posted in 2008 and I didn’t even write it! But I identified with the sentiments…that is, if you are patient and you hold on to God He may give you a husband or He might decide not to, either way you’re cool.

      Thanks for the lovely words, wish you had a site I could leave a comment on 🙂

  6. Sorry to tell you the truth but good girls do finish last. I remember growing up. I was told if I studied hard enough, kept my legs closed, served God with all sincerity and prayed men would come after me. Ha! What a joke! All the bad girls got married as soon as we graduated from college 6 years later I’m yet to find a man who will even look at me . I cant find a job and its like my life is at a stand still. Being patient has never been my cup of tea but I’m at the point of despair because I feel like God has abandoned me. Thanks for the words of encouragement however they were words said by me too in public but inside the 4 corners of my bedroom I cry myself to sleep every night because I wish to get out of my situation but it seems like I have no control over this.

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