Archive for ‘life’

October 24, 2010

Moving Homes & Paid Blogging


I have been shamefully neglecting this blog. Coping with the demands of being a mom (and a work-at-home one at that) has been taking its toll on me. I intend to do better though.

First of all, my blog and I are moving homes 😦 Yeah, it’s both sad and exciting. Sad because we have been with wordpress.com for a little over 2 years now and it has been one awesome experience! WordPress.com really is the best free blogging platform on the internet.

But it is also exciting because we are getting our own domain name. By the way, do you have any idea how many reservoirs there are out there? I could barely find a domain name to register. But bloggie and I, we prevailed 🙂

Another reason I’m moving is that I intend to start paid blogging and wordpress.com does not tolerate that. It makes sense since they are giving us this platform for free. Still, it is time to move on. I felt it fair to warn you all in advance so that if you saw a post on, say… Botox for instance or hiring snowmobile drivers in Alaska, you’d know it was a paid post. I will try as much as possible to let you know when it is a paid one though.

So that’s it for now. I’ll start posting more regularly. I hope you all follow me to my new home (I’ll let you know when it’s ready). Thank you for being with me for so long.

September 28, 2010

I’m Going to Get into Your Business! – Guest Post


On Friday I shared a comment from a reader that really has me thinking. The commenter shares about her spouse:

He would announce he was the head of house (I had told him that) he would tease my new faith in public; all the while I would smile and not correct him (thinking it was not my place).

I can assure you, this scenario is commonplace within unequally yoked marriages. As Christians, we can mistakenly believe we must turn the other check and virtually become a doormat within our marriage in order to convince our spouse of our faith, hoping they will come to Christ.

Women misguidedly believe they are demonstrating love to their mate by going along with their every whim and decision. They also think they are not conforming to Biblical principles when standing up to her husband’s ridicule of her faith and thus allow his disrespect of who she is as his wife. Men who are married to unbelieving wives are desperate to model Christ’s love and therefore give into the demands of their wife hoping their display of sacrificial love will win her over.

Now hear me on this. There ARE times when we need to check our selfishness at the door and support our spouse’s decisions. There are also times when the health of our marriage demands we draw a line in what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Again I refer you to Friday’s post for some suggestions to discover what a healthy marriage relationship looks like.

A few weeks ago a friend shared with me that she was struggling with the way her husband was speaking to her. I decided to share with her how I handled this common conflict in marriage and now I think it’s time for me to tell this story here.

Let me preface this account with a few facts. I am a passionate person. So is my husband. We both came into our marriage with some solid beliefs that are diametrically opposite. This is still the case today. However, the way we handle our disagreements when our conflicting moral issues arise has changed over the years.

In the early years, my husband and I could get into a major shouting match discussion over some random thing that was actually more reflective of our differing worldview. As we would begin to talk about this “small thing,” our passions would fire. Then we became desperate to defend our “truth.” As we would raise the intensity in our discussion and the decibel level of our voices, we would risk stepping over the line and take our conversation to a disrespecting and hurtful level.

I am sure many of you can relate to this scenario. Passions flare. Words fly. Hearts are hurt. Now I’m not a saint by any means and I have said my share of hurtful words but I am going to share an example of how I handled conflict when disrespectful words erupted from my husband.

There were times when I knew my husband had crossed the line and said something that was hurtful and went way beyond what a man should speak to his wife. At those moments I would pause in the conversation, look directly at him, then with a firm determination in my tone say something like this:

“Do NOT, (pause) speak to me that way.”

“It is absolutely out of line to talk to me like that. I don’t speak to you like that and I expect the same from you. I don’t use words like that and I will not allow you to say those things to me.”

I would be so firm and so unyielding that my husband knew he had gone too far. Now I preface this example with the fact that I am careful about how I speak to my husband and can tell him that he can expect the same respect in my language that I am expecting from him.

Another area where I believed I helped my husband grow up a bit was to point out to him that my faith isn’t always the bane of all arguments. Conversations went something like this:

“Even if you take religion out of this, the way you just spoke to me is out of line even in a nonspiritual marriage.”

Or, “The way you just treated me is was out of line even in a nonreligious marriage.”

It is right to receive respect. It is right for us to give our spouse respect. Without mutual respect, marriage is doomed.

I discovered that with many men, especially those who don’t know Christ, they will push their wife at times. Whether it’s fair or not, their respect grows when their wife stands up to him and can voice her opinion. Sometimes they need to be told they are out of line and need to grow up.

On the flip side, these scenarios also apply to wives. We need to listen and discern when we are immature and need to grow up.

Now I’m really going to get into some people’s business with what I’m going to share next. But the kind of conflict I’m about to describe is common in marriage.

If your spouse is addressing you with an obscenity (bitch/bastard etc.) it is not okay. Likewise, if you are using similar language, stop it today.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

There are many behaviors that are not okay and conflict is necessary to maintain a healthy marriage.Remember Jesus’s life was a life of conflict. It still is today.

Matthew 10: 34-36 (NIV) Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.

Stop back on Friday and I will share with you how my husband and I work through conflict now after a few years of marriage. I hope this approach will be of benefit to you and your marriage. Be Blessed, Lynn

September 7, 2010

What Are Your Addictions: BMV Blog


Proverbs 31: A line at a time

At the BMV blog, we are doing a series of Bible Studies based on Proverbs 31. So if you are wondering where I am, you can find me there. I did the last post on verses 5 & 6 of the chapter. I know, what does Proverbs 31 have to do with addictions right? Well, visit us and find out.

August 29, 2010

Choir Practice: My Journey to Commitment


I applied to join the choir at my church and after an audition, I was accepted. This is a big deal for me because choirs and I…we are not really best of friends. This has nothing to do with the choir per se and everything to do with me. But I’ll get to that later.

We were put through compulsory classes on how important worship is in the Bible and to a Christian; and I was reminded that worship is so not the music but more of the spirit – the attitude. It was good to remember. I also learned a lot about worship that I did not previously know.

With all the learning going on, it is clear that I am still on probation. And probation is good. In fact, I just love probation. It means I get to sing each choir practice, be part of a team and not have to be on stage. Yep. That is the crux of this post. The Stage.

The last time I really participated in a choir, I was still in my teens and it was the adult choir of the Anglican church my family attended. That was fine – I got to hide behind those billowing, voluptuous robes. I mean, some Sundays, my friends were not even aware that I had robed; that is how shielded I was.

While at University, I was a part of this mass choir but that was fine. We only performed once a year and there were all sorts there anyway so it was not a problem. And that, I guess has been my problem with choirs. Having to be out there in front of everybody, so to speak.

At the worship class, the choir was called a frontline ministry and boy, is it ever! You are out there Sunday after Sunday singing and practically yelling to anyone who enters the church that not only are you a Christian, but you are committed to living like one. That was my problem.

People who are out there like that are so easily judged. One trip and the next thing is “imagine, and she’s in the choir!” And the choir is said with so much outrage like just because you are in the choir you are supposed to have two shiny wings and an even shinier halo. I was just not ready for that kind of pressure. I am a backstage person. Or that is what I told myself.

What I did not realise was that I was also a backstage Christian. No I was not living a double life, but I could well have been. I did not want people pointing at me and saying ‘she’s got a testimony.’ When I was little, my dad had this computer printout on the Notice Board in this office that said something like this:

Be careful how you live your life; you might be the only Bible someone has to read

I did not want that kind of pressure, believe me. So what changed?

I did. I decided to stop hiding and let people hold me accountable. I have found that going out there each Sunday and praising God in front of so many people is my way of stepping up to plate and making my commitment known. I am not just committing to be a Jesus follower in my closet, I am committing to making every effort to follow Him in everything I do. More than that I am putting myself out there, testifying of Jesus Christ. What I am saying is “Stop me and ask; I HAVE a testimony!”

I am done hiding. It has not done me much good anyway – I usually end up making stupid mistakes I would never, in a million years have made if I had deliberately made myself the cynosure of all eyes.

But I guess I am not alone there. We all hide in various ways. We find ways to shy away from declaring our identity. So mine was with the choir, but it did not stop there. There was also the avoidance of leadership roles and responsibilities. Sometimes, it might even be looking a friend in the eye and asking may I pray with you? Something so simple as that. But we are all so scared of being branded.

I think it is time to get branded for your beliefs. If you are really passionate about something, it will be your brand. Yes, it is scary but I think that kind of commitment is definitely worth it. In the meantime, I am so glad I’m on probation.

August 20, 2010

Being a Mum: Swimming in the Deep End


At the end of the day, past mid-night, exhausted from a day that seemed to be one stress-packed event, it is now time to relax and unwind. Listen to Earl Klugh and take the time to catch up on blogging or maybe read a good book. Life is supposed to be prefect like that right? Wrong.

When you have a little baby in the house, life is just a roller coaster of exhaustion. It rolls over you in exhausting waves which never seem to let up. You are tired, your head is throbbing and it feels like a truck just went over your back. Worse, the baby that should have been sleeping is screaming her head off (though I’m not sure the word scream is correct, she does sound something like a trumpet).

If you are a mum, what do you do to catch a breath. An no, I’m not talking babysitters. If you are a stay at home mum without the option of babysitting, how do you manage? I desperately feel out of my depth here.

August 13, 2010

The Fresh Air Fund Needs Host Families


OK People, it’s that time of the year again. The Fresh Air fund needs host families. I think I blogged about it here. But if you would like to know more, visit this site.

The Fresh Air fund has been working tirelessly for decades to give inner city kids the kind of summer they will remember for a lifetime; but it is with your help. The success rate has been phenomenal and it has been made possible because of every single family that took in a Fresh Air Fund kid.

They need your help again. If you live where there is sunshine and grass and lots of open space for kids to play, please do not deny these kids the opportunity to experience the same. I grew up in the country and every child needs to experience that, if only once in a lifetime.

So just click on this link and they’ll let you know how you can help.

Thanks.

*I think this is limited to the USA only.