I think a lot of people go into marriage expecting it to be easy. Maybe they’ve seen too many movies. Marriage isn’t easy. Family isn’t easy. Close friendships aren’t easy. The best plan is to expect problems, stay committed, and develop a strategy for getting through the rough times.
John says it like it is the easiest thing to do – stay committed. Then again, he does say that we should not expect it to be easy. I was discussing with some friends of mine and we were examining the fact that it was difficult to see a young person stay 5 years at one job; the grass is always greener somewhere else. Not to say those who job-hop are not committed, I suppose in their own way they are committed to their welfare. But that is not what I am talking about here.
Commitment here is in relation to someone or something other than oneself. To understand it better, I checked the meaning:
The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons. – Dictionary.com
- a consignment to a penal or mental institution
- the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled
That is the thing with commitment, it is not a natural state for man. It goes against the grain. Our first instinct is self seeking. That is, we hold on to someone or a cause as long as it is for our personal benefit. Once we cease to benefit from that quarter, it is time to move on.
Commitment says, regardless of if you are benefiting or not, STAY! Hold on. Believe. It is crazy! That is why I love the highlighted definition a consignment to a penal or mental institution. It takes a person who is not normal in the way we view normal to keep holding on to what appears a lost cause. And in a way, choosing to be committed despite every indication to be contrary is a sort of prison…you are bound.
Which is why careful thought and consideration is needed before making a commitment. Expect problems; think, what is the worst that could happen, and prepare for it. Of course, that is easier said than done, we never really know exactly what can go wrong in a relationship of any kind. But if you know in your heart that things could go terribly south then at least you will think twice about making that commitment and if you still choose to make it, there is no going back.
Marriage is a commitment – a romantic relationship is not (most of the time). That is when you get to decide if you really want to make the commitment. Like everything else, there are exceptions. This goes for friendships too. Make a decision to choose your friends and not to just fall into a friendship. True friendship is a commitment to doing and being the best for that person.
Commitment says although I know you are not perfect, I am your biggest fan. Even when I see stuff I do not like, I will not turn away from you. Instead, I will encourage you and pray for you to be the best that you can be.
The list of negatives from yesterday… burn it ladies. Instead of harboring jealous thougths, fueled by all his faults flaws and failures, we are going to intentionally be their biggest fans. Burn that list and tell him how proud you are of him, how much you appreciate him, how deeply you value him. Decide inside that you are going to be his biggest cheerleader. Build him up and openly embrace his victories as your own.