I had been blogging the Love Dares (LDs) and was good until I got to LD 5 then I had to take a compulsory break. The break was not just from blogging but actually from the LDs altogether. This was because of family issues (which I’m not going to share here – TMI) and also, I realised I had some residual anger in me that I had not dealt with. I think I am ready to go on with the dares now.
The last dare I posted on was LD 4 and it was about calling the man up and asking if there was something I could do for him. Well, I’ll tell you how that went. He was going through an 8-days intensive course which began with him leaving the house at 6:30am and not getting home till 7pm.
So on that fateful day (sounds like the narrative of a Nigerian film yes?). Anyway, on that day I called him during his break period…
Me: Sweetheart how are you?
Him: I’m fine
Me: That’s nice. How are things?
Him: They’re OK, though I wish you were here
Me: Aww…I wish you were here too.
Me: Is there anything you would like me to do for you?
Him: Like what?
Me: *frown* I don’t know, maybe something you’d like done before you get home?
Him: No, nothing.
Him: I’ve got to go; I love you baby
Me: I love you too. Bye
So, no one can say I did not try OK. I did my level best.
Now, over to LD 5, the one responsible for my taking a break.
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. Proverbs 27:14
When you bestow upon somebody the gift of YELLING at them as a greeting, they are NOT going to be your biggest fan. You will, in fact, end up on their bad side.
This is really funny; I am a yeller. I am such a good yeller that I have perfected the art of yelling. I yell so well that the person next door does not hear my voice. Yep, it is not in the volume of the voice really, but in the tone of the voice. The beauty of using the tone to yell is that when he complains that I’m yelling at or shouting at him, I can just put up a blank face and act all confused like I don’t know what he is talking about; my voice was not loud. Talk about mind games *sigh*
So the verse really made me uncomfortable. But that was not what made me give the dares a break; a little discomfort I can deal with. It was the dare itself and if there is anything that can let you know if you are harbouring anger or not, it is LD 5. It certainly puts you through your paces. So,
Ask your man to tell you three things that bother him about you, things you say or do. And listen WITHOUT SPEAKING. Don’t try to explain or justify. Be brave enough to really hear them. And then commit to them and you to work on those things, as much as is possible.
I have been able to ask this sincerely without bearing grudges and that is good. So I guess I am back to blogging my way through the dares. On the group, we are already on LD 10 but since this is such a personal journey, I’ll take it at my own pace.