I’m Not a Very Good Wife

I have been waiting for this installment of The Love Dare and finally, it came through today. We are going through the Love Dare as a group on the Being Mrs V facebook group. If you are on facebook be sure to join us.

Day 6: Love is not irritable… “He who is slow to anger is better than the might, and he who ruls his spirit than he who captures a city.” Proverbs 16:32

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in a loving way instead of with irritation. Acknowledge why u respond like you do and then note ways to change that in yourself,and then toward your man.

What are u working on? How are you able to respond with love instead of irritation? Are you praying thru these things and what is God revealing as you go?

I had been feeling bad most of last night and was still feeling bad this morning. Getting this dare however, just made me feel worse!

Two days ago, my husband broke it to me gently that one of my ‘Uncles’ had passed on. He was not actually a relative, just my dad’s very good friend but he was like a father to me. I fell to pieces. Apparently, my whole family (my parents and brothers) knew but they did not know how to tell me so they told my husband instead. I have only ever felt that deep sense of despair once, when I lost my cousin.

My husband panicked. I don’t think he had ever seen me that way before; I was a mess. By the next day, I had managed to get a hold on my emotions. By the time he got back home in the evening, I could even smile and laugh at his jokes. But by night time, I was losing it again. He kept asking me what was wrong and I did not want to talk.

I went into the kitchen to do the dishes or anything … I just wanted to keep busy. But like any good husband, he came after me wanting to know what was wrong. And then I snapped. I started sobbing and asking him what he thought was wrong. I turned on him completely. I did not yell but I was nasty. And what was worse? He took it quietly. He gently led me to the living room and decided to give me some space. He went to do the dishes instead.

Even though I was still hurting inside, I felt terrible. It was not his fault that I got bad news. Life was not fair and bad things happened to good people. That did not mean I needed to turn against the only person (except God) who could comfort me at this time.

So I went back to the Kitchen and hugged him and told him I was sorry. He was not upset, funny. He just understood that I was hurting. Still, I’m not feeling very good with myself right now even though we were alright by the time we went to bed last night and he woke me up this morning singing in my ear (he’s a morning person; I’m so NOT).

I can say that I spectacularly failed this dare. I was presented with circumstances that were far from pleasant and I responded in the same way. Instead of patiently explaining to my husband that I was still cut up from the news I’d heard the day before and letting him comfort me, I snapped at him.

The Lesson? I need to learn how to patiently explain what I feel. I tend to expect him to just know. . . but he is not psychic and men are not always as emotionally intuitive as women. So next time, I just need to take a deep breath and let him know how I feel. That should not be too hard. Right? *sigh*

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4 Responses to “I’m Not a Very Good Wife”

  1. Oh sweetie. You get a pass on that. Death is not the same as typical every day stress.Kudos for apologizing and making note to try and do better next time!

    • Thanks Ro, I really do plan to do better next time (not like I’m hoping there’ll be a ‘next time’ on death…*shudder*…)

  2. That was a tough one…

    That being said, i think your reaction was normal for a human being with raging hormones at this point in time. NOT that it was good, just that it was normal… human. You know the Bible does ask us to become more like Christ everyday, meaning we’re not and probably never will be, perfect.
    These dares are supposed to gently point out to us stuff we’d otherwise not notice and change them. They’re not for us to beat ourselves over the head with, so don’t ok.

    And for what it’s worth… You’re most definitely NOT a bad wife:)

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