Orange Love

My dad used the term in one of his sermons “orange love“. It was such a visual illustration, it stuck with me. For some reason, the word ‘love’ has become one that we use without the consciousness of its true meaning and implication. “I love these shoes!” “I love Louis Vuitton!” “I love you.” “I love oranges?”

We love oranges so much, we suck out all the good stuff, then throw away what’s left. That’s orange love; the type that takes and takes and gives nothing back in return. When it has taken and there’s nothing left to take, it discards you and moves on to the next orange.

That is the only kind of love many of us are willing to give. In the bid to protect our hearts from hurt, we end up being takers. The only bottomless love, is God’s love. That is the only love which gives and gives and keeps giving even though it does not receive. And while we are called to love the way God does, the fact is that most of us are not there yet. If you are, that’s good but I know I struggle. The love we have to give needs to be replenished. If you just give and never receive in return, you’ll end up empty – like a sucked orange.

It hurts when you have invested so much emotion and love into a relationship only to find out that the other person never really loved you back. That feeling of emptiness is profound. As a result of that, you may probably go into the next relationship determined to hold back a little, to not put in so much emotion and what happens is that you become a taker. The very kind of person you are running away from.

Nevertheless, there should be a halfway point between being a giver and being a taker. At least I think there should be. But can love really be halfhearted? Is it possible to love only a little? And after love has been betrayed, is it possible to turn it off like a faucet?

I have always thought that love is like an avalanche; once it gets started, it cannot really be halted. It must run it’s course. Therefore if love cannot be turned off, and it must run it’s course, why not seek to enrich the other person’s life, at least for the time that you are together. If you are lucky, it might last forever. If it does not last forever, well, you know you left the other person better for your love. That is my take on it.


One thought on “Orange Love

  1. I was thinking about the different types of love as mentioned in the bible this week myself- phileo (brotherly) eros (romantic/sexual) and Agape (unconditional- God’s love)..and from what I see in culture…something called infatuation..a self centered attraction probably based primarily on the physical or how the other person makes me feel type of emotion

    When someone says they love someone..I suspect much of the time, it’s usually the latter (infatuation)…having been married for a spell now, I can honestly say,I didn’t have a clue about unconditional love for the longest time….it’s not until I (we) have to start forgiving the other person even when we don’t feel like it, or us initiating after a conflict and saying “I was wrong, will you forgive me” first- even if the other person is 90% wrong in the situation…then,- just then, are we beginning to catch a glimpse of agape love. it’s cliche but it’s true…love is as much an action as it is an emotion..I can “love” someone in the deepest sense and @ the same time, maybe not “like” them in the moment- another observation…emotions come and go- (especially when it comes to the warm fuzzy, romantic feelings we call “love”… when you begin to know and understand the people in your life you’re trying to love, then you discover, each of us perceives love in different ways..touch, words, acts of kindness, being listened to…etc. so even though I may not feel loving feelings toward the other person, I can give it my best shot to express love toward them in their language..and wha-la…our emotions will usually catch up with our deeds and we will again feel the emotions…another thing and then I’ll get off my soap box…unresolved problems are killers to any relationship..a strong, healthy relationship takes work- when something happens that hurts, or causes conflict, and we don’t work it through to the point of reconciliation, our hearts will gradually get hard toward the other person, we will build a wall, until @ some point there is so much unresolved crap on the other side of the wall, there will be a volcanic erruption or the party stuffing their emotions, lives a life of brokenness and depression…not a fun place to live.

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