I am newly married so I’m not sure I should even be writing this list. It’s just that even at a few months old, we have some rituals that work for us and maybe if I document them here, when I start to feel that the symphony is jarring, I can come back to recapture some of the stuff we used to do.
This is the topic over at Marriage Monday “How to Celebrate February 14 Every Day of the Year”. Too often we tend to take our loved ones, especially the one we are married to for granted 364 days a year (if it is not a leap year) and only remember to say ‘I love You’ one day – the 14th.
Marriage should be the love affair of a lifetime. Yes, I know what you are thinking… you’re probably saying to yourself don’t worry dear, you are still at that stage; it will wear off. And maybe you are right. But I choose to not let my love wear off. I know it is not going to be easy; I know there will probably be times I will look at my husband and wonder what defect of the brain made me think I could live with him. But that is okay. Through the grace of God, the love we have for each other will overcome all that. I know that because I watched my parents work at what they have and it is beautiful to behold. It is usually in the little things.
There are some little things we do that make us feel like we a living a year of February 14s and I will list some of them below. If you have some rituals of yours, which make your marriage ‘sing like a well-tuned violin’ then be sure to join the rest of us here.
- Talk: We do that a lot. We take out time each evening to just talk and catch up on our day. While we were dating, we made an agreement to be honest about our feelings and thoughts to each other and it was liberating. There is something about talking to someone you know will not judge you – even if that person disagrees with what you are saying or even tries to correct you. You know this person loves you and has your back. Even though right now we are at opposite ends of the world, we still look forward to our daily talks together. It is lovely because as his day is ending, mine is just beginning.
- Holding Hands: We do quite a lot of that.
Or rather he does. I am not really one for holding hands, it does not usually occur to me. But when we are strolling, or in a group with people, or anywhere, dh has this way of just reaching for my hands that makes me feel special.
- Text Messages: This one is my forte. During the day I send him little text messages telling how much I love him. If he is around me somewhere, I send notes via bluetooth. He does not say much, but I know he loves them because he noticed when I did not send any.
- Snuggle: This is usually at the weekends; Saturday or Sunday before Church. We snuggle under the bed covers and dream and plan. It makes me feel like I’m part of something good.
- Dance/Walk: Yes, we both love to dance and to walk. Well, he loves to walk and I love to stroll. The dancing is mostly spontaneous; he walks in the door and something nice is playing and he pulls me to my feet and we do a few steps. It’s lovely, it’s romantic. Not the dancing per se, but having something we can both enjoy.
- Be Involved: Now I have discovered that this is very important. I have this way of getting ‘occupied’ with my world that does not involve my husband – novels, crocheting and internet (especially blogging). But he does not let that deter him, he involves himself. When I’m reading a novel he wants to know what it’s about and share a joke with me when I laugh. He know all my friends even my blogging friends and made friends with most of them. He reads my blog and lets me know what he thinks and is interested when I am crocheting. He hasn’t asked to learn yet though. In return, I am very involved in his life. When he is writing something for work, I help in editing… Basically, we try not to alienate the other with our activities. It takes work but I am up for it.
- Words of Affirmation: Well, that’s what it’s called but I prefer the term encouragement. He likes to tell me when he loves something I do and I never fail to let him know that I’m proud of him. This is not optional, the Bible commands it!
So that’s it. A short list, I know… but we have several years yet to build on it. If you have any to add, please leave a comment or better yet do up your own list on your blog and hook up to Marriage Monday.