Storybook Romance

something-good captain-langthornes-proposal dropped-stitches

I love romance novels…in fact, I think I’m addicted to them. I love the way the hero looks…no, gazes at his heroine with eyes ablaze with passion; I love the way her heart skips a beat when she sees him, the way she just knows by the prickling of her senses and the tingling of her body that her lover is somewhere within the vicinity… I love it all! I don’t know why. They breed unrealistic demands and expectations. He must go down on bended knee to declare his love; he has to give me a diamond solitaire when he proposes…he must..he should… The list is endless. It is definitely alright to have expectations in love and relationships, but when your expectations come from a romance novel, what happens if he (or she) does not read the same novels you do? Or what if he does not read novels at all? Then what happens to all those expectations? Disillusionment comes in.

Expectations should be grounded in reality with the realisation that what worked for one person will not necessarily work for you. Because the romance novels say that when a man is in love with you he cannot wait to get married to you; and because your best friend’s man was so in love with her, he rushed her to the altar does not mean that your more cautious man does not love you. Personally, I think that a man who is crazy about his woman cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with her, but see, I am also aware that it is the storybook romance that is speaking so I keep that thought to myself and try not to let it affect the way I view reality.

We all love happy endings, I know I do. But life seldom has a happy ending…except maybe when the person is dead. Then, I guess that would be termed a happy ending because a dead heart cannot be broken, neither can dead eyes weep. Life is all hills and valleys – sometimes there are high points and more often than not, there are low points.

Same goes for a man or woman. They each have their good and bad aspects and their high and low points. Even the romance heroes have nasty streaks in them; it does not stop their heroines from falling headlong for them and from loving them no matter what. So read romance novels if you must, they are a lovely way to spend a quiet Sunday afternoon. But read them with a mental watermark on each page which boldly reads FICTION.


4 thoughts on “Storybook Romance

  1. One of my daughters is in a serious relationship w/ a young man. I like the guy, he is a couple of years younger than her. She’s about your age, ready to finally settle down and get married. He on the other hand is not quite there yet…who knows why…one of my hunches is, he is not quite as emotionally mature. still has some of that desire to be a kid and not grow up. He reminds me of a piece of fruit on a’s coming..but it’s not quite ready to pick. Now if you’re hungry and in a hurry, you can pick it, but you’ll be sorry…

    in her case she couldn’t wait so she (as a professing Christian) decides to move in with him…all sorts of practical reasons why this is necessary…I as her dad, just grieve because I know what she desires (a long term relationship built on love and respect) and that’s not an atmosphere where those qualities flourish. You’ve probably heard this proverb:

    “Why buy the cow when the milk is free.”

    There’s more truth to that proverb than she realizes.

    So I don’t expect a marriage proposal any time soon and if there is, it will be because A. She’s pregnant, or B. She’s given him an ultimatum …not a good foundation to build a long term relationship

  2. It really is sad…we can always find justification for anything we want to do even if deep down, we know it’s not right. Doing ‘the right thing’ can be really tough especially when we feel it is not right for us;it takes the grace of God. He has a way of making things right in our lives – despite ourselves.

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