New Year, Old Issues

After over a month of incarceration, I’m finally back online! We had problems with the internet server and it only just got fixed. It’s peculiar that this is also my first post of the year, so I want to say ‘Happy New Year!‘ to everyone. The last month of 2008 was a full one for me; so many things happened.

The year ended on a high for me. I went to a camp where we spent the last three days in prayer and fasting…it was an experience. It’s one that holds each year and this was the second year in which I fully participated. It was good as I was able to prayerfully plan for the next year. I have already started experiencing the benefits of waiting on the Lord, things which should have taken a lot of stress to achieve are happening with ease.

On an emotional level, my ex boyfriend came back on the scene. Now this is something which is a bit hard for me to write about, so maybe I won’t. He was my first boyfriend and also my first love, so maybe that explains some of it. But I could not seem to help being dragged into the past. Letting him go was the hardest and also the easiest thing I have ever done. The breakup was 99% my fault and it did not happen because I had stopped loving him neither was it one of those relationships were you sigh ‘good riddance’ at the end. Still, I cannot help feeling that he gave up on me; I was not important enough to hold on to. For some months before it ended, I had the feeling he wanted out and his actions after the breakup consolidated that feeling into certainty. Anyway I suppose we can make an attempt at being friends now, don’t know how that is going to work out but we’ll see. Either way, I’m hoping to finally achieve closure.

Finally, on New Year’s Day, we had a picnic. Our home was full with cousins and family friends so I took the young people out on a picnic. It was not too far from the house but far enough to be another world altogether. Everyone had fun and I was gratified; there’s just something about knowing you are responsible for the smiles on some faces. Here are some of the pictures we took below…

Jonathan & I

Jonathan & I

Cross section of the Girlz. The boyz were shy

Cross section of the Girlz. The boyz were shy

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2 Comments to “New Year, Old Issues”

  1. Sharon, good to hear from you….

    I’ll just say my 2 cents worth and leave it at that….

    Relationship breakups like you just described (romances before we’re married) are every bit as much as going through a divorce, even though legally in the sight of God and the law you’e not married…on an emotional level, that doesn’t matter..what you’re describing is the emotional pain of divorce…rejection, hurt, second guessing ourself.

    Here I sit almost 30 yrs into an awesome marriage relationship and still I can remember the hurt of a previous relationship. The sting does and will fade over time. You are precious- don’t listen to the lies of enemy. peace and love from our family to you.

  2. I guess you are right. I don’t feel bitter about it anymore but I wish the hurt will pass. I mean I really don’t understand it…how can you say you love someone, ask the person to marry you and then walk away. Just. Like. That. I even asked him and he said he was waiting for me to call… OK.

    Thanks for the insight though, really appreciate it.

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