Unprayed For…

Last week’s café chat asked about the things we do not pray about. I took a deep breath and decided not to write on that. But yesterday was my birthday; I am 27. As I become a year older, I am forced to look into me and acknowledge the things I have either neglected or refused to pray about. They are many.

There are several reasons why I refused to pray about some stuff that have been bothering me for some time. The primary reason I guess, has been pride. I ask myself why I have to pray about THAT. But a lot of it is not pride…it is resignation. Each year, I have a list of stuff I want to achieve before the year ends; then the year ends and there’s a new list – with the old stuff on it. I guess after a while, I get tired of praying about the same things over and over again.

There are so many things I refuse to pray about – especially concerning my fiancé and I. I really don’t want to get into the details. The problem is that I seem to have some preconceived notions about what our relationship should contain and when I do not see what I’m expecting to see I get disappointed. Now, I was taught to tell God about my disappointments and expectations and I usually do; but when it comes to this I just feel that there are some things I should not have to pray about. If my prayers are answered, I will keep wondering if he would have done those things if I did not ask God to make him. I don’t know if I’m making sense because sometimes I don’t even make sense to myself.

But this year is going to be different … I will pray. I will hold nothing too small to pray about. I think when a person gets a little older pride does not seem much of a companion. I need help and I’m going to ask for it. It does not matter if I have to ask God to get the kind of reaction I would like to get – actually it does matter. But I suppose I can always ask God to make it matter a little less. I read a blog post this morning that really encouraged me; what I took away was that I was not to give up on myself. And I think that is why praying about stuff was hard for me – I think I had given up.

My desire for my life:

The peace that passes understanding.still_waters_wallpaper

Psalm 23 says that He leads me beside still waters…waters that will not ruffle me or drown me. That is what I want this year-peace and fulfillment. To remind myself, I got this wallpaper which is presently on the desktop of my laptop and I would really love to share it with you. Just use the right click button on the image and choose “save image as”, then choose a location on your hard drive and save it. I believe in giving on my birthday; I hope it brings as much joy to you as it does me.

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7 thoughts on “Unprayed For…

  1. Sharon, my friend Jim voiced very simliar thoughts this past week in our house church. (frustration because some of the thinks most near and dear to him seemed unanswered)…glad you found hope in that blog post. BTW. Don’t let my new photo fool you…I’m still the same DM…just playing around w/ some possible new blog ideas…

  2. I’d love to first say, ‘Happy Birthday!’ Happy 27th year anniversary! May God continue to strengthen you with power in your inner being by His Spirit.
    Your post is straight out from your heart and that’s where it’s true power lies. It’s a sincere expression of your inner being. You are strong…it takes strength to write a post that is as transparent and revealing as this one.
    We must pray. Prayer works. I’m glad you’ve resolved to pray more in the coming year. I’m also glad you’ve received encouragement to move on. I was inspired by this post, and your site.
    God bless you.

  3. Hey DM, it’s lovely hearing from you on this blog; and I was wondering about the photo…
    When ‘important’ prayers seem to go unanswered, it can be really frustrating. Same too when some prayers are answered, we begin to ask questions. Human beings! Oh well, at least God understands his children.

    @Wdfavour – thank you so much for stopping by. Your blog post really spoke to me because I did not even realise that I had given up on myself. Thanks again and God bless.

  4. Hi Sharon, after I wrote that comment I changed my photo back to me 🙂 (instead of that character from the LOrd of the Rings movie) I was messing around w/ another blog I have on wordpress, that is currently “dormant” thinking about writing some things metaphorically from the perspective of Samwise Gumshee….didn’t realize that picture would automatically post on my heart to heart blog too…

  5. I feel you on so much of what you’ve shared here. A piece of advice on the fiance: approaching your relationship with your own unsurrendered expectations is shaky ground at best. Ask the Lord what you should expect and allow Him to answer. And for what you are seeing that you struggle with, COMMIT IT TO HIM and pray pray pray!!!! It’ll work. I wont lie and say it’ll be an easy road, but if this relationship is God’s best for you both, it WILL be a road well-worth traveling.

  6. Don’t worry DM…I don’t judge you by your appearance…lol

    @Rosheeda – you’re so right Ro. But being totally 100% open in a relationship can be real hard, especially if you’ve been hurt before. Still, I do realise I should be open to God’s will for me as that is what is most important. Oh, and I am praying! Really praying…

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