Living my life

“Live your life in such a way that you would not be afraid to sell the family Parrot to the Town Gossip.”

I got that from my cousin, have no idea where she got that from. I first heard it over five years ago but it keeps ringing in my head. How does one do that? This means living a life of utter transparency for goodness sakes!! First and foremost I am naturally a secretive person. So I decided that it did not mean I needed to tell the whole world each time I had a cup of coffee but that I needed to live in such a way that even if my ‘secret life’ came out in the open, I’d have nothing to be ashamed of. Great.

I mean really…! I tried. But I kept doing things I was constantly ashamed of, things that if my mum found out I probably wouldn’t be able to look her in the face again. And the quote above kept haunting me. If I messed up, I’d think to myself “the Town Gossip had better not hear about this”. Talk about living in bondage. So though I totally subscribed to the principle behind the quote, I found that I could not live up to it. And that was that.

I have come to realise that I cannot attain that kind of purity and transparency – not on my own. I need the hand of God to do that. Also that when I mess up, it is life teaching me a lesson for the future or to help someone else. So these days, when I’m tempted to cringe in shame, I straighten my shoulders and tell myself, “so maybe I’ve messed up, well I’m not perfect and God has forgiven me.” (Take that Town Gossips!)

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