Cafe Chat


What are some lies out in the world (secular views) today about women that contradict what God says in His word about how women should be/act? Diving a little deeper…What are some lies that are still out there in our Christian circles about women? (Feel free to talk from a single woman’s point of view or a married woman’s point of view)

This is my first participation in the cafe chat meme. From a single woman’s point of view (and one who is engaged to be married), it’s pretty straightforward – sex. The lie about sex ‘out there’ is the everybody is doing it lie.

My mum taught me that having sex without the benefit of a wedding band was fornication and wrong. When I got into university I was made to understand that what was wrong was having sex without a steady boyfriend, once one was in a serious relationship then it was ok to have sex. ?????

Then it was taken a step further…if you are going to get married to this person, it doesn’t make sense that you don’t have sex with him. How are you going to test your compatibility? (This one I could not understand cos it would have meant several ‘compatibility testings’ and who could guarantee I would eventually find a ‘compatible’ partner?)

So I did some research on the word fornication and this is what I came up with:

‘Fornication’ is sex between persons who are unmarried. (WikiAnswers.com); to have sex with someone who you are not married to (Cambridge online Dictionary)

OK. That is pretty explicit. I then went Bible Resources to find out what God had to say about fornication and it was endless!

  • 1 Corinthians 6:18 says to flee fornication;
  • 1Corinthians 7:2 – to avoid fornication;
  • Ephesians 5:3 – But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saint;
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:3 abstain from fornication.

It’s simple really, there’s no gray area in this one; I don’t think the Bible can be any more direct about this. It is very clear….no sex before marriage.

But what happens to those who have already had sex before marriage? The Bible says that the Lord will forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness – if we repent that is.

I’ve already been accused of being too far right on this blog. I know this is a controversial area and I thought a lot before I decided to post on it. I don’t claim to have all the answers and I’m aware that my parents don’t know all there is to know about God and His word. But no one has yet given me a contrary Biblical interpretation of this, so I hold on to what I’ve been taught.

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8 Comments to “Cafe Chat”

  1. The Bible is not a book of legal statutes. Give up trying to abide by it legally. Christ is about grace and not law. Learn to love and be loved and not an authority on the interpretation of a book that wasn’t meant to be law. We are already forgiven, the act has been accomplished. Grace Grace Grace

  2. Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! (Romans 6:15 NLT)

  3. Thanks for participating… Yes, I am sure this question will always stir up controversy, but you are right in your beliefs… No sex before marriage is God’s plan for us… Keep holding to God’s word for the direction of your life. Thanks…

  4. Thank you so much. It hasn’t been easy – trying to live by the Bible. But I thank God for His grace which is there to help me up when I fall.

  5. I don’t think you’re too far right on this issue at all. Even though God will forgive our sins, there will still be a consequence for our sins. Fortification causes guilt and Christians pull away from God when they feel guilty. Plus, Christians who have had past sexual experiences will have to take that into their Christian marriage. Satan can have a real field day with that. It’s so much easier just to do what the Bible says. God really does know what is best for us.

  6. You’re right about what God’s word says!!!

    Sheila

  7. Very good! I had actually started to write about the same thing. You’re right…and yes, just because we have been forgiven our past, present and future sins, does not give us a liscense to keep sinning. We’ve been set free from bondage; we shouldn’t stay there.

    Keep it up…I know waiting is hard, but it’s so worth it!

  8. It took a lot of courage to write this actually. Thank you Lily for encouragement. God bless you!

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