my green eyes

I often find myself gripped by the green eyed monster, a.k.a envy. My acquaintance with envy started as far back as I can remember…………. I am the only girl in a family with 3 children. And I wanted to be a boy. I wanted to be a boy soooo bad! It took me awhile to realise that it didn’t matter how much faster I ran, or how high up a tree I climbed; and woe upon woe, it didn’t even matter if I climbed all the rocks and mountains around my home or if I could skid a pebble over water better than my brothers…I would ALWAYS be a girl! You can imagine the shock. So I began to envy my brothers because they were boys – even though there was hardly anything they did that I could not do I even played football (that’s soccer to my American friends, lol).

Of course it did not end there. I got envious over this or that, many times totally irrelevant things like my best friend’s straight legs or my other best friend’s energy. I was blessed however because I did not get consumed by envy. I had received good instruction from my mum.

I’m writing this because my fiancee and I talked about it a few days ago…how some people could get really consumed with envy. Envy is bad, no doubt about it. But I don’t believe there are many people who go through life without feeling a tiny bit of the green streak (if you have do please let me know how you do it!).

Ok, so we all get envious every now and then…what about it? I think the major issue is not the envy per se, but how we choose to deal with it. I mean really, no one is perfect, the grass is always greener at the other side of the fence …so on and so on but there are 3 ways most people handle envy:

  1. Pretend they’re not envious at all;
  2. Admit they are envious and stew in it;
  3. Admit they are envious and ask for help.

I prefer the 3rd option. Matter of fact that is what I use. I run to God and start mumbling. Lord its happening again; I’m jealous cos she has this and I don’t. Help me realise that what I have is just perfect for me. Please, please, please, i don’t wanna be envious – I really don’t! But I can’t help the way I’m feeling…

It’s no joke. I don’t beat around the bush with this. Other stuff I might get into denial about but not envy. It could give birth to so many possible disasters that I don’t even want to imagine it incubating inside of me. But that’s just me. I’m almost entirely dependent when it comes to handling my negative feelings.


2 thoughts on “my green eyes

  1. Thanks Sharon for this reminder…I totally struggle with this as well! I also appreciate the reminder that it’s what we DO with the feeling that really matters…
    Thanks for your comment.

  2. Thank you for your comment Briana. Wish we could control our thoughts more though. Guess we will achieve perfection – in heaven.

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