what is your inspiration?

I am inspired by music…or at least I used to be. As a teenager, I lived and breathed music. I just couldn’t do without it! I never thought the day would come when I’d be able to live 30minutes without music. Some time ago, I found myself going days without. At first I thought it was a sign of maturity – you know, I had outgrown the addiction stage; I was now mature enough to live my life without any attachment. These days I’m not so sure.

I no longer crave the sounds of music like I used to. I can even go a whole day without it. But since I started blogging I noticed something peculiar… I find it easier to write when I’m listening to music; the words just seem to flow. I don’t have to stare for hours at my computer screen (like I do when there’s no music) just because I want to write one blog post.

So what does that imply? I’m no psychologist (not even amateur), but I think my going off music signifies something. Ennui? Who knows. Maybe that is the reason why I’ve been so tired lately. It doesn’t matter how many hours sleep I get at night, or even if I take the day off and just lazy around…I am always TIRED!

I’ve been thiinking of asking my boss for some time off … actually, 2 months leave without pay. It’s daring I know but I feel like I’m going to go crazy without it. I need to be inspired.

What is that thing which inspires you; that makes you feel like there is no limit at all to what you can achieve? Could it be music in general or a particular sound track? Or maybe a movie? Or even a person, or a place…………..? What is it that takes you to that place?

I was on a motorbike today…we use them as means of transportation here in Nigeria. They are widely known as “Okada” after a popular airline ‘Okada Airways’. If you’ve been on a motorbike before you can understand why. It does feel like flying. There’s this adrenaline rush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This feeling of total unfetteredness (if there’s a word like that). It’s almost like I can do and BE anything!

That is how I want to feel for most of my life. Not logged down like I’ve been feeling lately. I used to feel that way before. Before I became an ‘adult’. I want to be free…I know we can’t attain total freedom and some ‘fetters’ I can’t do without. But there is that sense of being free that has nothing to do with the geographical location or even the encumberedness of the person – it wouldn’t matter even if the person is in jail because it is a state of the mind. I’m thinking that maybe if I took a couple of months from work and just traveled and did whatever I wanted to do for a change, I might regain that sense of freedom. Who knows.

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