Purity on the Dance Floor

The subject of purity has been one of great concern to parents and non parents alike. It is no longer just a matter of contending with teenage pregnancies and fatal abortions (though those are critical enough), but with the sporadic increase of AIDS and HIV, “Condoms cannot be the definitive answer to sexually transmitted infection, because they provide insufficient protection against many common diseases” (Softpedia article).

OK. So I guess you would all agree with me that we need a solution. In recent times, the abstinence movement has grown rapidly. It is interesting to read about the various and diverse forms through which abstinence is being encouraged. The latest and most fashionable is the Purity Balls currently being held in different parts of the US. I read this article on the New York Times website:

The girls, ages early grade school to college, had come with their fathers, stepfathers and future fathers-in-law last Friday night to the ninth annual Father-Daughter Purity Ball. The first two hours of the gala passed like any somewhat awkward night out with parents, the men doing nearly all the talking and the girls struggling to cut their chicken.

But after dessert, the 63 men stood and read aloud a covenant “before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity.”

Read the whole article here.

Purity Balls! The idea is certainly interesting. On one hand I can understand where the organizers may be coming from; the Bible does say that a man is the head (more like a covering) over his household and I think it makes sense that they should be involved (within reason) in their daughters’ lives. After all, a daughter needs her father’s affirmation that she’s beautiful. However the ritualization of it all …

Well, not all of us have fathers! But for those who do, it may not be a bad idea. I get my sense of validation and individuality from my dad.

I see life as one big dance (forget Shakespeare, he was an actor). Some amount of purity will be useful as we dance. It is like the Latin maxim – he who comes to equity must come with clean hands. However, I think we need to focus more on the individual. Let me elucidate.

If your girl feels good about herself and has a healthy amount of self worth, she’s not going to go about sleeping with whomever in order to feel better about herself. What I’m saying is instead of focusing on whether to be pure or not be pure or to be a virgin or not; shouldn’t more time be spent building up the opinion the girls around you have of themselves?

For me, it was my mum’s faith in me that kept me for a very long time. I did not want to disappoint her. I was convinced that the day I finally had sex, my mum would dream about it and see it in a ‘vision’. (No I’m not going to tell you if I’ve had sex or not so no holding of breaths please!).

Anyway, back to the Purity ball thing, it is definitely a new concept to me. I live in Nigeria. We do not have purity balls. If I mention it to my friends they’re going to have this blank look on their face and ask ‘balls?’ But I am interested in the concept. How does it work? What goes into organizing one? If you have participated in one or have been an organizer, I’ll love to hear from you.

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2 Responses to “Purity on the Dance Floor”

  1. Greetings, Sharon!

    Thanks so much for signing up for my feedburner emails! I look forward to getting to know you better, my Sister! I am encouraged by your blog as well. It is so interesting to read your “take” on things, living in a different country. I’m sure there are many things, such as “Purity Balls” that we do here in America that have you scratching your head or even rolling your eyes! 🙂

    I guess my take on the balls is that I like that the fathers are involved. Now, to be effective at all in encouraging purity, is the RELATIONSHIP that the parents have with the daughters. You can’t just go to a ball and expect everything to work out fine. So, I imagine (and hope) it is just one piece of the puzzle. I don’t know if you ever watch Fox News, but recently Bill O’Reilly showed a very different scene on a dance floor. It was a school dance, with teachers present, where kids were simulating having sex on the dance floor. It was very graphic, disturbing, and SAD. My heart cried for those kids- for parents who aren’t there to teach and love their children, for a lack of mentors in the school not willing to step in and do something, and for a society who cares more about money and selling sex to this generation through MTV, Hollywood, etc. My heart aches because this is a generation needing mamas and daddys…….a generation needing to know who there and what their worth is in Christ!

    So…purity balls…..I guess I think they are good as long as the father/mother are there parenting their children, building a strong relationship, teaching them about Christ…..

    Also, love your TT post.

    Blessings, my friend. I look forward to getting to know you more!

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